The Life and Times of the Painfully Shy
by OhMyWord
Summary: ...that would put me in very close proximity to a gorgeous man that made me lose all sense of time and place and proper behavior. He bent to one knee and the dog jumped into his arms, which was funny because that was exactly what I wanted to do...
1. One: Getting the Right Name

Author's Note: So I started writing this for no apparent reason (I am, in fact, also writing the conclusion of 'Letters' and working on the 'Tinsel Town' sequel as well as something else, but, why not?) So anyway, this Edward is a little different from the version I usually write, but I hope you'll still like him as much as I do. I don't think I mention it in this chapter, but it's set in San Francisco. Also, there are a couple pictures for it on my profile. Enjoy!

Nice reviews are better than chocolate, unless maybe you're licking that chocolate off someone.

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The Life and Times of the Painfully Shy

Or

How I Finally Stopped Being a Wallflower

One: Getting the Right Name

There he was, the guy of my dreams with the ever expanding nickname. It started out simply enough – Mr. Perfect, a little obvious, but it got straight to the point, right? And he was, from the way he stretched his legs out when he sat at the little table on the opposite end of the café, to the way he could focus so intently on whatever he'd brought with him to read. That first day it was the newspaper. After a couple weeks of blatantly staring at him when he wasn't looking, his name changed to _Stupid_ Mr. Perfect, not because he was, but because all my staring just reminded me of how lonely I was and how no one ever looked at me the way I looked at him. After the two weeks became one month, he became Stupid Mr. Perfect with the Sexy Hair, self explanatory.

I noticed something during that time – he got hit on, a lot. At first, I thought it was the same girl, but it was actually several girls that all looked the same. Enhanced blondes with curves and courage I didn't have; they'd sidle right up to him and smile and flirt in ways that made me blush. His reaction to them made his nickname even longer – Stupid Mr. Perfect with the Sexy Hair that Ignores the Beautiful Blondes but Will Still Never Notice Me. When I realized how long that would be to write out, I stopped adding to it.

He came to my favorite café, Oatmeal Hermit's (it's better than it sounds) every day at the same time and sat at the same table underneath a black and white picture of a lighthouse surrounded by fog attached somehow to the brick that made up the walls of this place. He ordered what I assumed was coffee and a pastry - a different pastry every day. I wondered if he was working his way through the menu. Oatmeal Hermit's specialty was desserts for breakfast – danish and cinnamon rolls, lemon bars and several varieties of tarts, oatmeal hermits of course, apple crumbles and crisps, molten chocolate cakes served in little white cups, coffee cake and scones, zucchini bread (my personal favorite) and other things I didn't know the names of. They also had just as many varieties of coffee and a secret recipe for hot chocolate that would make your toes curl; I had that in lieu of a boyfriend.

That particular day was not a good day. I woke up later than normal and had to rush if I wanted to spend any amount of time at Hermit's before I had to be at work. I got there just after eight o'clock which gave me a little less than twenty minutes to sit and ogle. I had my laptop in my bag and wasn't paying much attention, so it came as a surprise when I almost sat in the lap of the person sitting in my usual seat in the corner. I mumbled a quick apology and sat at the first available spot, a small maroon cloth covered booth a little too close to Mr. Perfect's table.

I decided to forgo the long line and just sit and wait for him (yes, sometimes I make myself sad too). As my computer warmed up, I looked through the books sitting on the table. It was a strange thing at Hermit's and I'm not sure when exactly it started. The story is that years ago, a too busy university student came in to study and ended up leaving a book on her table. Someone noticed it and thought it belonged to the café; she read some of it and for reasons unknown left one of her own books in return. Apparently, things snowballed from there and now there were books all over the place; some people read them and left them there, some took one or two, replacing them with one of their own. It was like an impromptu book exchange.

I opened my internet browser and logged into my guilty pleasure. You wouldn't know it by looking, but I'm a secret Cosmo reader – online only. _How to Ace a First Date!, Sexy Lingerie to Drive Him Wild!, How to Ask Him Out!, _yep, all of that, I ate it up. I made sure to position myself so no one would see my screen and opened some article about little things a woman could do to build confidence; I wouldn't ever actually do any of these things, but they were fun to read. I was on number eleven – _walk around in skimpy lingerie when you're home alone – _when Mr. Perfect walked in. His hair looked damp and I wondered if he'd just gotten out of the shower; he'd caught a break in the crowd and didn't have to wait in line. I heard his voice, which I'd heard before and it still brought me as much enjoyment as it did the first time. He got a cup of black coffee and a small piece of apple crumble. He pulled a folded up section of newspaper out of his back pocket and sat down at his usual spot. I made a mental note to make this booth my new usual spot; it had a perfect view and though I didn't much want to sit in the middle of the café, it was worth it.

He brought a forkful of apple crumble to his lips and I imagined him making a low sound in his throat at the sweet taste of it. I shivered involuntarily. After another bite, I tore my gaze away long enough to check the time and discovered I'd have to walk pretty quickly if I wanted to make it to work on time. I shut off my laptop and stuffed it in my bag before taking one more quick look in his direction. He was still reading his paper. I stepped outside and realized it was raining…crap. I had no umbrella and my thin jacket was already beginning to soak through. And did I mention I was going to be late for work? In a stroke of good fortune, a cable car was braking near the top of a steep decline, so (ticketless), I ran over and jumped on, grasping tightly to a pole. I just needed to make it to the bottom of the hill.

I made it down without falling off and walked into work from the back even though the front door was unlocked, that might mean small talk and I wasn't very good at that. I walked through the short, tiled hallway into the largest room and smiled. "Hi Beau! How's my favorite guy?" My voice sounded high and girly. I walked over to the blue merle Australian Shepherd, who went from prancing around his cage to flopping over on his back. Like all the animals, Beau was a rescue. His owners were abusive and when they moved, they abandoned him in their apartment. He was brought in by the landlord and Beau and I hit it off right away. He was sweet and curious and well mannered, seemingly not at all scarred by his previous life. I'd take him home myself, but I doubted he'd enjoy living in an apartment with no yard.

I spent some time taking care of the dogs, cleaning cages, refreshing food and water dishes, and doling out medication disguised as treats before crossing through the lobby where I was greeted by the receptionist. The building was split into three sections, to the left of the lobby was the area for the dogs; it included a small space for basic and sometimes emergency vet care and a larger room where they did behavior evaluations. To the right of the lobby was the area for other animals, mostly cats although on this day we had two bunnies and an iguana as well. It mirrored the dog area, except for the lack of an evaluation room. I took care of that side and talked with the two vets on staff; both were women, married, and deliriously happy.

My typical day was spent crossing back and forth between the cats and dogs and that day was no exception, except for maybe that it was busier than normal. The shelter was finishing getting ready for an adoption drive and we all had to make sure the animals were in top condition. This meant bath time for everyone. Luckily, as in – luckily because the adoption drive was starting that day, most of the animals were clean and ready to be taken home. I had a few more dogs left to bathe and one cat named Brutus.

I didn't even notice it was lunch time until one of the vets came in to tell me she was leaving. She pulled her wavy caramel hair out of it's ponytail and rolled her shoulders slowly. "I'm going to lunch," she said while pulling out a compact.

I grinned, "with Carlisle?" They had been married for ten years, but Esme still primped before she saw him.

She smiled, still looking at herself in her little compact mirror. "Yes. Do you want me to bring something back for you?" She knew I rarely left the building during lunch.

"No, that's ok, have fun."

"Hello, ladies," Carlisle poked his head in where Esme and I stood amongst the dog kennels. I smiled automatically.

Esme closed her compact and he kissed her on the cheek; he murmured something I couldn't hear that made her blush. They said goodbye and left me to my own devices.

"Ok, Beauregard, it's bath time," I unlocked his cage and he trotted out happily, running circles around my legs. I led him over to the oversized basin and helped him into it; he'd been through the routine before and wasn't afraid. His friendliness, however, proved to be problematic. By the time he was rinsed off, I was soaking wet. He shook himself off and I let him down; I wasn't going to put him back in his kennel right away. I toweled him off a bit and he shook again; he followed me when I walked into the lobby to talk to the receptionist.

"Hey, Angela," she was a woman whose pathological shyness was mirrored by my own; it took a while, but over the last year that she'd worked there, we'd become good friends. I think it was mostly due to Esme's prodding.

"Hi, Bella, hi Beauregard," she cooed to him as he put his head on her lap, using his charms to get his ears scratched. "Sarah went to lunch, but she said there aren't any appointments until two, so we should be fine." The shelter didn't serve as a vet's office, but if someone were to adopt a pet from us, they'd be able to get basic medical visits for a discount.

She and I chatted for a few minutes while the other three girls that dealt mostly with adoptions and fostering pets went to lunch. Angela pulled out her lunch and ate at her desk; she shared a small bag of chips with me. I was about to put the partially dried Beau back in his kennel when the little bell on the front door rang; Angela and I raised our heads at the same time. My chip filled mouth fell open before I could think to control myself.

Stupid Mr. Perfect with the Sexy Hair that Ignores the Beautiful Blondes but Will Still Never Notice Me. Standing in our lobby. In all his glorious sexiness. And I was still drippy and probably smelled like dog.

I had realized during my month or so of lunacy that he always looked like he'd just gotten out of bed. I wondered if I was right and if so, was he sharing that bed with anyone? Or lots of anyones? Could I be one of them? Anyway, today was no exception. He wore a soft looking pair of dark brown trousers that reminded me of the UPS man uniform and a t-shirt with a band on it that was mostly blocked by his slightly ratty looking coat. His hair was damp again; he wasn't carrying an umbrella. He looked between me and Angela, who answered first. "Hi, can I help you?"

He ran a hand through his hair, which stuck out randomly. "Hi, yeah, I wanted to know if I could see the dogs," he grinned crookedly and I almost fell off my chair.

Angela answered him again while I stared stupidly. "You're welcome to take a look, Bella can show you around if you'd like."

He looked in my direction, "thanks."

I made a semblance of a smile and let out a small noise like a laugh, or maybe a sound of panic? I didn't know. I could feel Angela staring at me pointedly, was I supposed to do something? I stood up and breathed out a "hi," before turning around and walking toward the back without checking to see if he was following. I didn't look until I was about to open the door that led to the kennel room; he was following with Beau trotting beside him. He smiled at me. I opened the door and held it for the both of them. Mr. Perfect smelled good, like soap and clean cotton and something else.

Surrounded by the animals, something in my brain woke up and I was finally able to speak. "So, do you have a particular breed in mind?"

"Well, I live in an apartment, so nothing big," he reached down a little to scratch Beau's head. "But nothing that I'm going to trip over in the middle of the night either," he grinned again.

I cleared my throat before continuing; I knew there were other things I needed to ask, but questions were coming to me very slowly. "Have…have you had a dog before?"

"I grew up with a St. Bernard and I had a schnauzer who passed away a year ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said before I could stop myself.

"I got her as a rescue, but she was really old."

When I couldn't think of anything else to say, he started browsing the kennels. Beau came to stand by my feet; he looked up at me and cocked his head as if to ask – _are you ok? _Mr. Perfect moved past me to the second set of kennels and kneeled down to where one of the few puppies we had was standing, shaking his tail intently. "Does he have a name?" He asked. It startled me.

"Not yet, we were waiting to see more of his personality."

He put his fingers through the cage door, causing the little Border terrier's tail to shake harder. The puppy was ten weeks old and had been abandoned on the side of the road.

His voice sounded warm and slightly higher pitched, "you're a scruffy little thing, aren't you?" He looked up at me, "can I see him?"

I nodded and put Beau back in his kennel before unlocking the puppy's door; he came bounding out, running circles around us. I wanted to kneel down and pet him, but that would put me in very close proximity to a gorgeous man that made me lose all sense of time and place and proper behavior. He bent to one knee and the dog jumped into his arms, which was funny because that was exactly what I wanted to do. He stood up, holding the dog and faced me. "We look kind of alike, don't we?" He smiled.

They did and it made me smile in a genuine way for the first time since he'd walked inside. "You kind of have the same hair." It was a musing that I didn't mean to actually say out loud, but it made him laugh, which was a nice sound.

After a few more questions, he decided he wanted the dog. Fortunately for me, or unfortunately for him, he wasn't able to just take him. We had to run a check on him to make sure he wasn't crazy (it would be just my luck to be secretly obsessed with some psychopathic serial killer) and introduce him to a vet, though neither of them were around at the moment. I had him fill out a couple of forms, telling him we'd call when he could pick up the puppy. He shook my hand before he left and I felt it all the way to my toes. I looked at his form quickly to finally give the man a proper name.

He did that partial smile again. "Nice to meet you, Bella."

"You too, Edward."


	2. Two: Winging It

Author's Note: The reception to this story has been incredibly warm; you guys completely made my day, so thank you all as always! I haven't decided on an approximate length for this yet, but I'm thinking it'll be fairly short (that being a relative term).

Nice reviews are better than chocolate, unless maybe you're licking that chocolate off someone.

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Two: Winging It

Ok, so I had kind of a problem, but only because I think too much and had decided it was a problem. And who do I go to with problems? My polar opposite of course.

It was Edward; was it weird that I thought it was weird to call him by his actual name? But that's not my problem – my daily hot chocolate drinking/Edward watching was the problem. What if he saw me? What if he wanted to come over and talk? What if he didn't? And why did he have to be so adorable with the puppy this afternoon? Now not only was he gorgeous; I respected him too. Dammit.

"You're thinking again."

"You mean thinking too much?"

"Same difference, you and this guy going to the same coffee place every day is perfect." Alice thought every situation was a perfect situation. What she lacked in size she made up for in everything else. Currently, she was painting her toenails in my living room and I knew she'd brought the polish herself because I didn't own any. I thought that was kind of funny because really, who randomly brought nail polish over to someone's apartment? Or was I the only one who thought it was strange? Alice looked up at me from her spot on the floor. "Run into him by 'accident' tomorrow, _or_," she visibly brightened which made me nervous, "you could personally deliver the dog to his apartment! Yeah, do that instead; you have his address from all those forms, right?"

I regretted asking her advice; this was why I kept to myself. Some may call it shyness, I called it being smart, not to mention safe. "Alice, you know very well,-"

"Done!" She wiggled her toes, admiring her handiwork.

"- I'm not doing that."

"Why not? How do you expect to ever meet anyone if you don't put yourself out there a little?"

"I met you without putting myself out there."

"Yeah, but I'm not having sex with you."

Alice and I met in college; we were in the same intro to psychology class. On the first day, I was predictably the first person there. I picked a seat in the back and was pulling a pen out of my bag, when Alice flew into class. "Am I late? I lost my schedule and now I'm totally turned around! Is this psych?"

I nodded and uncapped my pen.

She came and sat down right next to me. "This is the only class I have where I don't know anybody," she stuck her hand out. "I'm Alice."

"Oh," I said belatedly; I extended my hand, "Bella."

"There, now I have a friend in this class too." She smiled and it lit up her entire face.

"Bella, are you thinking again?" She was standing right in front of me.

I snapped out of my reverie, "what?"

"I said, you're going to have to do something; he came into your place of business. This is a sign, speaking of which, are you ready?" She reached into her bag and pulled out a deck of tarot cards; she believed she had a gift. Mostly I just tried to humor her. She had me shuffle the cards and I sighed; I didn't mean for her to hear. "You need to take this seriously."

"Sorry."

Once the deck was cut, she laid the cards out in a pattern she informed me was called a Celtic Cross.

"What's that mean?...Do I have time to get a beer?"

"Well, that's the fool card and no you don't."

"The fool card?"

"It doesn't mean you're foolish; it means like…you're going to do something new." She stared at it for a moment and then looked at the cards around it, "you're going to finally be spontaneous!" She clapped.

I ignored her and looked at the cards. "What about that?"

"Would you just let me do it? That's your outcome card; it tells you what's going to happen," she grinned. "It's the lovers." She looked at me, the same cat-caught-the-canary grin on her face. "You're going to get laid!"

"Oh, Christ." I looked at a spot on the table, willing the crimson to drain from my face.

She giggled. "It doesn't just mean that, it means a relationship too. See, you need to act _now_!"

"I'm not fighting some injustice here -,"

"Bella, when was the last time you had sex?"

The fact that I had to think about it and then when I remembered the guy made me sad, "ok, so you have a point, that doesn't mean I'm just going to throw myself at him. I can barely talk to him."

"Bella, from the way you describe him, he sounds like a good guy. If you don't go for it, someone else will."

I thought about all the blondes at Hermit's. "Ok, I'm open to suggestions…but this doesn't mean anything; I'm just listen -,"

She jumped up excitedly, "I've been waiting for you to finally take my advice! Want a beer? Do you have any limes?"

The next morning, armed with Alice's advice and all my Cosmo confident female knowledge, I went to Hermit's. It was raining again, but this time I'd come with an umbrella. I ordered a hot chocolate and then sat at my new usual seat in the booth; I waited and felt a little like a stalker. I mean, I knew the man's _address_ for goodness sake. I was midway through my drink and practicing exactly what I was going to say to Edward, a perfect mix of wit and flirtation, when he walked in. He got in line and I could hear his order again, black coffee and the molten chocolate cake that comes in the little white cup. I prayed that maybe he would just see me and come over and then I wouldn't have to do anything, but things don't work out that way for me. He sat in his usual seat and pulled a book out of his back pocket; he was wearing the same pants from the day before.

I repositioned myself so that if he were to look up, he might just see me. I was still banking on not having to make the 'first move'…it was embarrassing just to think that phrase. I grabbed a book off the table and opened it to a random page, staring at Edward over the top of it. He took a bite of the cake and I could swear I actually heard that noise I imagined him making the previous morning. I leaned forward. He opened his book as I willed him with all my might to look up and notice me. I was way out of my depth here.

I tried to remember the things Alice and Cosmo told me to do, but they all seemed to have slipped my mind and now it was just me and that was almost never a good thing. So, it wasn't a matter of what I should do, but what was I actually willing to do? The answer to that was not much. Truthfully, when I narrowed it down like that, I really couldn't come up with anything at all.

Ok, I wanted to get his attention in the most painless way possible, right? And I couldn't sit around here forever trying to figure out what to do. And if he happened to see me from across the room, he might remember me, right?

No, that wasn't good enough. No amount of willing him to look up and fall madly in love with me was going to work. I seemed to be having a moment of clarity, so before I could stop myself, I stood up. I had no plan whatsoever.

I grabbed my cup of hot chocolate to have something to do with my hands and my bag and started walking over to Edward's table. I tried to psych myself up on the walk over, he was a nice guy, it's not like he would just send me away. I was sure he would at least be polite and if nothing else, I'd be within touching distance of him. And if it didn't work out, I could always go sit in the corner again.

Some pep talk.

I was close enough that I was surprised he hadn't already glanced up from his book when someone brushed past me and stood at the opposite end of his table. "Hi, is this seat taken?" She was a brunette. He glanced up quickly and made a motion with his hand, inviting her to sit down. He didn't see me and I turned around and walked out the door as quickly as I dared. It wasn't until I was already outside that I remembered I was still holding my now empty mug of hot chocolate; the mug that had to be returned to the café. I debated asking the next person that entered if they'd take it in for me, but decided that would be worse than doing it myself. I steeled myself and opened the door.

The brunette was laughing at something Edward had said and he was looking at her with a somewhat amused expression. She reached out and touched his arm and he didn't pull away. I remembered our hand shake and how his skin felt and how I had to force myself to let go. Distracted, I reached out to set the cup on the counter and missed; it fell and crashed to the floor, the white pieces a bright contrast to the dark wood. I stood there stunned, staring at the mess I'd made. I could feel my eyes watering; you know how sometimes as a little kid you'd cry when you broke something? I never really got over that. A girl came from around the counter with a broom and a dust pan and started cleaning. I muttered a quick sorry and ran outside.

Edward was looking at me.

"Bella? What the hell happened? Do you want me to come with you next time?" I was laying dramatically on the couch with Alice, who I was letting paint my toenails the same dark red shade she'd painted hers.

"_I_ happened; this is why I stick to interaction with animals and no, I don't want you to come with me next time."

"So, the first time he sees you, you're all wet – and not in a good way -,"

"_Alice_, jeez…"

"- and probably smelled like musty dog and the second time you dropped a mug and then ran away."

I covered my face and nodded. "And he was talking to some other girl."

She didn't say anything at first; just put the finishing touches on my pinky toe. She pursed her lips and admired her handiwork. "Ok, this can be salvaged."

"My toes?"

"No, your relationship."

I sat up and put my feet on the coffee table; the polish looked good, different, but good. "There is no relationship."

"Not with that kind of negative thinking, Bella. Look, you just need a plan. And a little more gumption. And maybe a boob shirt -,"

"A what?"

"You know you're going to see him again when he comes to pick up the dog; you can work your magic then. Now, listen to Alice this time."

I sighed, "I'm listening."


	3. Three: Missed Her Opportunity

Author's Note: So apparently I've decided to inundate you with my writing today. Thanks for reading! Also, this story is definitely going to be pretty short (but hopefully sweet) and I'm also working on something else which came to me randomly during a visit to the bookstore. It is very dark and very different from my other stuff; I have a prologue and part of the first chapter done so that should be posted within the next week or so. Lots of stuff in the works right now :)

Nice reviews are better than chocolate, unless maybe you're licking that chocolate off someone.

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Three: Missed Her Opportunity

It had been a week since the mug incident and today was the first day I dared to show my face in the establishment again. No one remembered me, but I still ordered a hot chocolate to go (in a paper cup…with a lid) and didn't wait around for Edward. I would be seeing him later anyway; it was pick-up the puppy day (…pick-up the man?). According to Alice, that was where I was going to hook him, her words not mine. Her perpetual optimism most certainly did not rub off on me this time around; I was just hoping not to maim him or myself.

I was too chicken to call so Angela let him know when we were ready for him to take the little terrier home. He said he would be in around lunch time which was perfect because that meant there would be less people around for me to embarrass myself in front of, even Angela was leaving. I busied myself all morning and tried not to look at the ridiculously slow moving clock; I was supposed to take the dogs out for a walk which I did in groups depending on the size of the dog, but I was pushing it until after Edward left.

By noon I was sitting out with Angela as people slowly filed out for lunch; Esme offered to get me something as always and I declined as always. "What time is it?"

"Twelve ten," Angela had the patience of a saint.

"You don't have to wait if you want to leave now."

"It's ok, I -,"

Before she could finish, the bell on the door rang and I jumped. I felt like I should be doing something all of a sudden; if I was just sitting here would it look like I'd been waiting for him? What if he remembered me from the mug breaking day? What if he thought I was some smelly girl that drops things? Angela's elbow in my side brought me back to the present. Edward was standing at the counter and sometime during my mental diatribe, I had stood up. I smiled and realized in that moment that several seconds had gone by and no one had said anything.

_Here we go. _"Hi, Edward." Was it weird that I just called him by name? No, I had his paperwork so it was within the realm of possibility that I'd just remembered his face from the first time he was here and not the many other times I'd seen him.

"Hi, Bella."

He'd remembered my name.

While I tried to quell the girlish giggles that wanted to be let out, Angela spoke up. "Well, I guess I'll be going to lunch, see you in a bit." She grinned a little too brightly.

"Hi," I said again. "Um, I…we have a puppy for you." I made sure he was following before I walked to the kennel room. His trousers were soft looking and dark grey this time, slung low on his hips; something about them (or him) made me want to put my fingers through the belt loops and pull. After we were surrounded by overly excited dogs, I found it easier to speak. I explained to him a few things about caring for the puppy, including visits to our vets, activity level, and all the other things I was required to say and thus was able to say without getting completely tongue tied. When I was finished, I let the little dog out of his cage; he ran for Edward immediately and I sighed. Was I jealous of the damn dog?

Edward picked him up and looked at me and I had an 'oh crap, here it comes' moment. There's something you should probably know about me; when I'm nervous I tend to be brutally honest – honest to the point of really embarrassing myself. So you can imagine how badly I wanted him not to ask if I was the girl from the coffee place. "Can I ask you something?"

I looked at him, but had trouble meeting his eyes. "Uh, sure."

"Do you always spend lunch here alone?"

"Not always, sometimes other people stick around."

"Do you eat lunch?"

At least he wasn't asking about my morning routine. "Sometimes…or people share."

He grinned and shook his head slightly; the puppy tried to lick his face. He didn't ask anymore questions so I led him to the front to finish up all the while trying to think of all the witty, flirty things Alice told me to say. When he was about to leave, I tried to think of anything to say and was still coming up empty. He smiled and said thank you and left before anything remotely substantial came out of my mouth. I sat in Angela's chair and sighed heavily. "This sucks." I started doodling on a pad of paper when someone walked inside.

"Hey." I was ashamed to admit I knew the voice without having to see the face.

I looked up, "hi, is something wrong?" He still had the puppy in his arms.

He shook his head and then grinned. "You go to Oatmeal Hermit's, right?"

I froze and my breath caught in my throat. "…yeah." The heat was rising in my face and I wanted nothing more than to crawl underneath the desk like a five year old.

"I saw you there a few days ago," the way he looked at me left no question about which day he was talking about.

I had no idea how I was supposed to respond to that so instead I made an awkward laughing noise and looked down at my hands. "Yeah," I said again, "that was me…" making a fool of myself while you talked with your future wife or playmate or whatever.

"I wanted to say hi, but you left too quickly." He did that uneven smile thing that almost knocked me off my chair the first time I saw it, my reaction this time wasn't much different.

"Yeah," how many times had I said that now? "You would've left quickly too."

The puppy was starting to squirm. "Well, I should get going, maybe I'll see you there some time," he said it like a statement.

"Yeah." I couldn't force my brain to come up with any other words and before I knew it, he was gone.

_Two Very Long Weeks Later…_

I hadn't seen Edward since he left with the dog and I was grouchy, unreasonably grouchy. Usually, I would stay at work during lunch because I had nothing else to do and it was a way to avoid unnecessary human interaction, but now I stayed to see if just maybe he would come in and sweep me off my feet. There was something about this particular lunch on this particular day though that was maddening; I felt silly and stupid for waiting around for a guy that barely knew I existed. I hadn't seen him at Hermit's either, even when I changed my routine and went in on the weekend. He was probably still in bed, exhausted from all the sex he was having with Miss Brunette with No Sense of Personal Space.

Like I said, I was grouchy.

So anyway, I normally waited for the afternoon to start taking the dogs out walking, but this day I left a little early. I grabbed Beau and two mutts named Harley and Tess. They were the best behaved of the bigger dogs and I was fairly certain they wouldn't get away from me. I decided to take them to Golden Gate Park; they had a few off-leash areas, but I was a little too wary for that.

We started on a walking trail, but somehow ended up in an open grassy area; I wasn't sure who was leading who. It was the perfect day to be outside and I was oddly glad my bad mood had led me here. I sat down in the grass and the dogs lazily followed; Beau rolled over onto his back. He hadn't been adopted during our clear-the-shelter drive; I had a feeling it was because he was an adult and a little hyperactive, although you wouldn't know it now.

I let the sun warm my arms while the dogs sniffed at things I couldn't see in the grass. I could hear people laughing and the sky was a beautiful shade of blue and it was almost enough to make me forget –

"Bella?"

Butterflies, lots and lots of butterflies and I don't mean literally. I moved my hand to shield my eyes from the sun and looked up. "Edward, hi," I smiled and was pleased with the normal greeting I gave him. I seemed to only be able to speak properly when surrounded by dogs. His puppy came up to greet me and the other dogs, oblivious to their size difference.

Edward sat down next to me and the butterflies increased threefold; there was no way I could be expected to hold any semblance of a conversation with this man this close to me. I raised one knee and wrapped an arm around it, trying to appear casual. He laid flat on his back and closed his eyes; I of course, took the moment to stare. His white polo shirt had dried paint stuck to it and some sort of faded green insignia near the collar. He was thin and very pale, like he never saw the light of day. I noticed a few specks of paint in his messy hair as well. Unfortunately, I must have misjudged my time limit because when I looked at his face again, his eyes were open. He put the back of his hand part way over his eyes, "It's my painting shirt," he said by way of explanation.

I looked at the insignia again and recognized what it might be from. "Did you go to private school?"

He grinned, "twelve years of uniforms; it's a wonder I can dress myself now." He lowered his hand to his stomach and closed his eyes again. "What about you?"

In the sun, his hair looked bronze. "Hmm?"

"Was there private school in your past?"

"Nope, just your average public school girl, and I still can barely dress myself." That sounded better in my head.

He turned his head and looked at me; he seemed completely at ease. How do people do that? I wouldn't be at ease even if I wasn't ridiculously attracted to him. "You don't seem like you're from California."

I wasn't, but the question threw me off guard and I didn't know exactly how to answer or how much information to give out. "I'm not," and then because I thought it sounded like too much of a clipped answer, I added, "I'm from Washington."

"Sorry if that was weird; I meant it as a compliment. You don't have that vacuous stare I see on most of the overly tanned false blondes that were actually born here. It's a nice change," he did the crooked smile thing.

"I'm pretty much the exact opposite," I said, examining my ghost white arm.

"That you are."

I smiled wider than was probably appropriate for the comment and then had no idea what to say so instead, I played with the puppy. He sat down between me and Edward and then lay down on his back, mirroring his owner's position. If I had a camera, I would have taken their picture. "Have you named him yet?"

"Well, at first it was going to be – Dog that Peed on My Floor the Day I Got Him," I laughed. "But he's stopped doing that now, so I named him Holden, as in -,"

"Caulfield," I finished.

He smiled widely, "yeah." He looked at me for another second and then faced the sun again, eyes shut. "But for some reason I started calling him Denny, so now people keep asking if I named him after the restaurant." Holden climbed onto Edward's stomach and sat down, looking around at what there was to see. "You're really beautiful, you know."

What?

He had said it, just like that. It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.

Edward thought I was beautiful.

I was glad his eyes were closed because I could feel the heat coming off my face in waves.

We talked for longer than I probably should have; I was technically still on the clock. I learned he was from Chicago and moved out here for college. He had aspirations to be a writer, but was currently working nights at a jazz club playing the piano and weekends at a local bookstore. He spent all his spare time writing and didn't mention a girlfriend or any woman's name actually. It gave me hope.

I had one of those - this is your moment – moments when it was clear things were wrapping up; clouds were beginning to cover the sun and I wanted to get back to work before it started raining. It may have been my moment, but I had no idea what to do with it and I could already feel my brain-stunting nerves building again.

Edward stood up while I dusted off the seat of my pants. "So, back to work?"

I nodded, "yeah, there's another group of dogs that need to get out before it gets too late."

"Want some company?"

It was out of my mouth before I could stop it, "oh, I'm ok." Let the round of self deprecation begin.

He smiled part way like he'd won a bet with himself. "I'll see you around then, Bella."

I gave him a stupid little nod before he turned to leave.

"Bye…Edward."


	4. Four: Third or Fourth Time's The Charm

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long! Thanks for all the patience and for reading; this is my favorite chapter so far which I think is why I took so long with it.

Nice reviews are better than chocolate, unless maybe you're licking that chocolate off someone.

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Four: Third or Fourth Time's The Charm

I stared at his back as he started walking away wondering how much time I had left to go after him before he thought I was deranged. I could hear Alice urging me on in my head as I argued with myself. And then before I could change my mind -

"Edward!" I called, a little too excited for the situation.

He turned around and took a few steps forward.

I fiddled with the leashes as all the dogs and Edward waited for me to say something. "Actually…I'd love some company." I felt inordinately awkward as I waited for an answer. In a big way, I was hoping against hope that he'd say yes, but in a strange, smaller way I was hoping he'd say no. I didn't have much time to explore that as I watched his expression go from curious to pleased.

He stepped up beside me. "Lead the way."

We talked more on the short walk back to the shelter, but this time I didn't get to ask as many questions. I told him about how I wanted to eventually open up my own kennel for boarding and training somewhere outside the city. As much as I loved it, I just couldn't see myself living amongst so many people for the rest of my life. When we got back, Angela was sitting at the front desk; I was afraid the brightness of her smile was going to give me away. Edward waited while I ran to put the dogs back and grab the other three that needed to be walked - a Sheltie, another mutt, and an American Bulldog named Trooper. When I walked back to the front, Denny was up on the counter drinking water out of a coffee cup while Angela cooed.

I smiled, aiming for breezy and casual and not lovesick and desperate. "Hi, ready?" He nodded and said goodbye to Angela, setting Denny back down. He opened the door for me and I smiled at the ground. When we stepped outside the little puppy slowed down to walk between Edward and me.

"I should re-name him Ladies Man."

I stopped to kneel down and pet Denny, "he probably just remembers me."

"Maybe he missed you."

I looked up and Edward was smiling at me.

"So, where to?"

What I really wanted to say was that I wanted to spend the rest of the day walking aimlessly around the city with him, but logically (stupid logic) I knew that was impossible. "I have to keep this one kind of short; I have things to do at the shelter before I clock out." I tried not to sound disappointed. I went down the street, looking for somewhere less crowded. We slowed once we hit a quieter neighborhood. "Can I ask you something?"

"I thought it was still my turn?"

I chanced a look up at him which ended up being a mistake, I caught my toe on a section of uneven sidewalk and pitched forward, fully expecting a painful and humiliating face first landing. To my very pleasant and grateful surprise, that was not the case; Edward grabbed my arm, pulling me back upright. When I looked at him again, he looked amused. "You ok there?"

I nodded, battling down the blush.

"I've never had anyone fall for me before."

I snorted. "That was cheesy."

"Yeah, I know," he chuckled.

He asked more questions – deserted island or snowed in cabin? (island), out with friends or in with a movie? (you can probably guess). They were interesting, but I felt a little like I was being surveyed and I wondered after a while if he was just as bad at this as I was. If that happened to be the case, he was certainly a lot smoother about it than me. In fact, nothing seemed to unsettle him until I asked a question about his writing. His laugh was mocking, "what writing?"

I thought about his answer. "Trouble?"

He shrugged. "A little slow going." I looked at him and noticed for the first time how disheveled he looked, more so than normal. His hair stuck out like he'd run his hands through it all day, his clothes were wrinkled, and when he glanced in my direction I saw the dark circles under his eyes. I wondered if he had writer's block. I couldn't imagine the frustration of basically being in your own way…or maybe I could.

He asked me something about working for the shelter before I could say anything more and it made me wonder just how difficult a time he was having. I didn't think of myself as particularly imaginative enough to offer input even if he had wanted to talk about it though. Once we switched off the topic of his possible creative mental block to more neutral subjects, his momentary tension melted and I started hoping he'd ask me out. By the time we got back to the shelter, however, I began doubting if it would happen. He told me during the walk that he pretty much never dated, wrapped up as he was with trying to make ends meet – working nights and weekends could really put a damper on someone's social life. I believed him, but still had this unsettling feeling that maybe he was just saying that as a way to let me down without having to actually let me down.

"This was fun," I said, having one of those awkward first date-esque moments.

He did that little half grin thing like he knew something I didn't and I blushed. I was about to say a quick goodbye and retreat, but his outstretched hand stopped me. Quickly and lightly, he brushed some hair away from my face which immediately roused another dozen or so questions. "See you," he grinned and started to take a step back. "At Hermit's." I nodded and said bye to him as he turned around. I touched my cheek where his hand grazed me like maybe I'd still feel him there before I floated back inside.

"Ok, so how exactly did he touch you?" Alice was laying out my cards again on the coffee table and I had this silly notion that she was messing with fate. She put her face right in front of mine, "here, show me." I tried not to laugh with her so close as I mimicked Edward's gesture from that afternoon. She nodded and went back to the cards on my coffee table; she "hmm'd" dramatically for a moment before she said anything. "That's funny…the Fool card and the Lovers are in the same place as last time."

I looked at them. "Is that bad?"

"No," she paused and furrowed her brow, "just coincidental I guess." She went through each card's significance while I tried to pay attention. When she was finished, she put them back in the box and turned to face me. "So, the band's playing on Friday, you should come see…and bring Edward." Alice managed a local band that was popular in town, but not so popular that she could quit her day job at Macy's.

I laughed, "I can't ask him out."

"Why the hell not? I asked Jasper out."

"That's not the same thing."

"It's exactly the same thing."

"You're more outgoing than me."

"Yeah, and which one of us has a boyfriend right now?"

"Ok, I give, but still, I can't just go up to him and ask him on a date." I sighed and sat deeper into my couch cushions.

Alice mirrored my position. "I feel like I'm in an episode of Saved by the Bell; look, ask him to lunch or something – that's pretty pain free, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"And don't pout like that, it's annoying."

I looked up from the spot on the coffee table I'd been staring at, "am I pouting?" I felt bad; I couldn't always tell how I came off with people.

She grinned, "just a little. I know you're shy, but you're going to have to come out of your shell eventually. No friend of mine is going to be a recluse."

I mumbled a quiet "you're right."

"I know."

I arrived at Hermit's the next morning in worse shape than normal. Alice's lecture made me painfully aware of the slippage of time and I wondered just how long a guy like Edward could stay single for. Despite what he'd said the day before, my guess was not long. I also felt kind of stupid about the whole thing, but I didn't really feel like getting into that. Anyway, I stood in line and looked around, but didn't see Edward anywhere. I ordered a hot chocolate and a cinnamon roll, and then moved to the pick-up counter to wait for my drink.

I felt a hand at the small of my back and I jumped, nearly dropping my pastry. I knew who it was before I saw him; he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Play along, I'll explain later." He was still touching me and when I glanced up, his expression was pleading. I furrowed my eyebrows in question, but he didn't answer. It wasn't until I heard the shrill "Edward!" that I understood what he was asking me to do. The barista handed me my drink and I took it, standing dumbly by Edward's side while he slipped his fingers through mine.

Sparks. Lots and lots of them.

We stepped away from the counter while the girl approached; I could smell her perfume before she'd made it all the way over. "Edward, I thought that was you." She raised her arms to hug him and he let her, not letting go of my hand. Her voice dropped an octave, "I've missed you." He stepped back and that's when she noticed I was there; she stared at me critically for about half a second.

"Lauren, this is Bella." His voice betrayed none of the anxiety from moments ago.

I had to let go of his hand to shake hers, when I did, he moved it to the back of my neck. I felt his thumb grazing slowly back and forth and it calmed me down; I wondered if he'd done that on purpose. "Nice to meet you." I leaned into Edward a little more (I might as well take advantage of the situation, right?).

She smiled and flipped her hair back over her shoulder, turning her attention away from me. "So, you never called me back," she managed to look accusatory and flirty at the same time.

I looked up and Edward looked a little confused.

"About Friday night? Dinner?"

"Oh, sorry about that; I meant to, but I've…had a lot going on," he said by way of explanation. He moved so his arm was around my waist.

She looked at me again for a brief second. "Oh, well…are you free?"

I decided to help him out; I looked up so my face was inches from his, "aren't we seeing Alice's band on Friday?"

He looked down at me and I had an almost irrepressible urge to kiss him. "That's right, I almost forgot." He looked at Lauren, "sorry, we're going to be out on Friday, promised a friend," he tried to look apologetic. "Maybe another time," he added as an afterthought.

She was staring at me again, maybe reevaluating her initial opinion. "Yeah, ok. Well, I should get going. Nice meeting you, Bella."

Edward exhaled once she was out of hearing range and led me over to a small booth. He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, "sorry I made you do that." This time he actually looked apologetic.

I tried not to smile, "I didn't mind. I've never done that before."

"Yeah, me either. Thank you." His hands were resting on the table close enough to touch.

I started getting that nervous, fluttery feeling I always got before I did something outside my comfort zone. "Want some cinnamon roll?" I could see him eyeing it.

He grinned and tore off a small piece. "Thanks…So, who's Alice?" He asked.

I laughed lightly, "she's my best friend. She manages a band in town; it was the first excuse I could come up with."

"Are they actually playing on Friday?"

"Yeah." Heart racing. Weird nervous fluttering stomach feeling. "Do you want to come see them with me?"

He frowned, "I work on Friday nights."

Heart plummeting. Fluttering stomach feeling possibly nausea.

"But, I could probably get the night off." My favorite smile.

Happiness. Lots and lots of it.


	5. Five: Writer's Unblock

Five: Writer's Unblock

Edward and I met each other at Hermit's every morning for the rest of the week. We talked and not in that survey way but in the regular conversation way and I didn't exactly want to die of happiness; it was more like I wanted us both to be beamed up so we could sit and talk and always be together. I was having _the_ feeling, like we could either really be together or maybe that I was imagining things, but I was happy for the time being so I didn't totally mind which one it was. He showed up and was interesting and interested and he smiled and leaned forward when I talked which sometimes completely distracted me, but I liked it.

On Friday morning I tried to forget about our sort-of-date-but-not-really thing because when I got nervous my mouth worked without help from my brain. It was pouring rain which was perfect hot chocolate weather; we both got one and a cinnamon roll to share. He'd made his way down the menu and those were his favorite. We sat at his usual table; when we got there a new used book sat on Edward's seat. He picked it up and sat down. He grinned, but not out of pleasure, "On The Road," he muttered. He set the book on the table top and took a slow drink.

"Have you read it?"

"Yeah, twice." He eyed the book thoughtfully. "The way he tells a story…I want to be able to do that."

"Maybe you do and you just don't realize it yet." I slid the roll closer to him, comfort food; it was the best thing I could think of.

"I'd have to write something first to be able to tell if I was any good," he let out a breath. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," I tried to think of something remotely helpful to say. "What is it that you're stuck on?" I wasn't sure if that was helpful or if it would just frustrate him more.

He leaned forward, his elbows on the table. "Everything…it's, I don't know, it's like I have these characters that have no place to go. I can't force them from point A to B, you know? I know where I want them to end up…I just can't get them there without making some ridiculous leap in logic."

I took a bite of the roll before I spoke, the sugary glaze sticking to my fingertips. "Maybe it's not a ridiculous leap; people do unexpected things all the time. Maybe your characters are braver than you think." I watched him turn it over in his head; I couldn't tell if he agreed or if he was trying to come up with a polite way of telling me I didn't know what I was talking about. "Or, you know, maybe not, I don't know," I backtracked.

He smiled in that way he did that made me puddle and buzz at the same time. "You are, by far, the most interesting woman I've ever met."

I shrugged and tried not to show how excited the compliment made me, "I do what I can."

I felt like such a girl.

One little non-date Friday night outing and I had firmly decided that none of my clothes were suitable. Not to mention that most of them would always have dog hair on them no matter how many hours spent in the washing machine. So now I was on my way to see Alice at her daytime place of business to abuse her employee discount. I had two hours to find something, get back to my apartment, get ready, and get to the venue – some bar I'd never been to. Alice worked in the junior's section which she also sometimes shopped out of; she liked to mix all of that stuff with things she found at flea markets. She met me at the front of the section; it was kind of funny to see her in work clothes. No handmade jewelry or outrageously high heels, her only accessory was a large men's watch, which I was pretty sure belonged to Jasper.

We said hello and then she led me around various sections, tossing articles of clothing over my extended forearm. "Do I need this much?" It was getting heavy.

"Do you realize I'm doing this on my break?" She ducked into another aisle and came out with a deep blue silky something that reminded me of water.

I bit my lip. "I mean, thank you."

She stopped long enough to smile at me. "Do you like this?" She handed me the deep blue water looking blouse.

I touched it, "yeah, it's really pretty."

"You should get this, you'll glow in it. And these jeans," she tugged at a pair I was already holding. "You need shoes too."

I asked her about the band while we looked at shoes. She told me they were in negotiations with an indie record label that couldn't promise big commercial success, but they were enthusiastic nonetheless. "A scout saw their last show and fell in love with Jasper," Alice said nonchalantly.

"That doesn't bother you?" Jasper happened to not only be Alice's love interest, he also sang and played lead guitar. Suffice to say that combine that with his ridiculous good looks; he had to fight the women off with a stick.

Alice shrugged, "no…anyway, the scout was a guy." She grinned. We talked more about the record label and the strange things that tended to happen to Jasper; she told me a story about a girl that hung her bright pink thong off the doorknob of the band's dressing room the month before at some bar. She made a face, "yuck."

I left after several thank you's and a hug, and flew home to get ready. I was a little grouchy because my hair was a mess no matter what I tried; it also bothered me that it bothered me which, I know, was stupid. Eventually I gave up on it and slipped on my new shoes, grabbed some cash and my ID so I wouldn't have to bring a purse, and stuck them in my pocket.

I didn't realize I'd forgotten my keys until I was at the bar; I could only hope Alice had my spare because I was already almost ten minutes late. I looked around for Edward as I straightened out my top, the fluttering in my stomach reaching immeasurable levels. I didn't see him anywhere.

"There you are!" Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to stand near the door that led backstage. "So, where's this mystery man of yours?" She looked around as if she'd recognize him on sight.

I tried to sound laid back, "Not here yet, I guess," I turned a little so I was facing the entrance.

She didn't seem to notice my nerves, "well, you look great and the guys are ready and I need a drink." We walked over to the bar while she explained, "some guys from the label are here tonight; the band doesn't know." She put her finger to her lips in an 'it's a secret' way and then ordered a martini. I didn't get anything; I was too afraid that I'd start drinking to quell my nerves and then by the time Edward got there, I'd be a big sloppy mess. I didn't hold my alcohol well. Alice told me about the new song they were playing tonight and how she and Jasper had sex in the dressing room before the rest of the band got there.

"Over-share, Alice." I tried to be discreet as I checked the clock above the bar; a half hour had passed since I'd gotten there, and as I was late, that made Edward officially forty minutes late. I sat down, one elbow on the bar, and faced Alice. "Do you think I'm being stood up?" I debated what kind of alcoholic beverage went with heartbreak when I noticed she had a strange expression on her face. I didn't pay much attention…screwdriver? Tequila? A lot of tequila.

Alice kind of chuckled under her breath and leaned closer. "I don't think you're being stood up." Without another word she hopped off her stool and went backstage leaving me to debate the merits of getting blitzed before the show all by myself.

And then there were hands on me.

And though I could count on one hand the number of times I'd felt them before, I knew who they belonged to.

He started at my waist and then smoothed down to my hips and I really hoped that I was right about who this was. His grip on me tightened as he turned me around to face him; I made a decision right then that this was the sexiest moment of my life, and nothing had even happened yet. I was expecting a hello or an excuse about getting lost or maybe an apology, but not this. He stepped completely into my space, close enough that he was standing between my legs.

Then he kissed me.

And it was lips and tongue and his hands were moving into my hair and the fluttering in my stomach dropped south and I finally knew what people meant when they said fireworks. I kissed back with everything I had and couldn't give you the definition of the word 'shy' if I tried. It didn't matter that we were surrounded by a growing crowd of people or that I had no idea what brought this on. If this was it then I was going to enjoy every second of it. I felt the kiss slow and become languid; his hands were loosening in my hair and I was a little afraid he was going to pull away. I leaned forward, into him, hoping to start a whole new go of things. I felt him smile against me; he moved back far enough to see me, resting his hands on my thighs. I tried to remember how to breathe.

His voice was deep, laden with promise. "I'm sorry I'm late."

I stuck my fingers in the belt loops of his worn trousers the way I'd wanted to at the animal shelter. "You should be late more often."

He grinned, "I do have an actual reason…I was writing…a lot," he smiled in a way that reached his eyes and before he could say anything else, the band came out through a backstage door. Edward helped me off the bar stool and we wound our way through the crowd, settling midway through. Alice came out last and waved, mouthing the words "see you later." My best guess was that she was going to charm a record contract out of a few unsuspecting men. Edward stood behind me and slid the very tips of his fingers into the waistband of my jeans; he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "I was writing because of you." I could feel the smile in his voice so I leaned against him, enjoying the way he wrapped around me.

The band started playing and the energy of the crowd doubled; they sang around us and I really did try and pay attention, but then Edward's hands started moving. His fingers slipped over the fabric of my shirt, his thumb grazing back and forth, it reminded me of the other day when I pretended to be his girlfriend. Every couple of passes he'd touch the skin of my stomach. "I like this," he tugged lightly at my shirt. We listened to the music for a while this way until I wanted to kiss him so badly I thought I might explode. When I felt him tilt his head down so it was closer to mine I thought about just going for it, but he beat me to it. He kissed my cheek once softly before pressing his lips to the bare spot where my neck met my shoulder and I thought that maybe this was even better than the first kiss.

Ok, not really, but pretty damn close.


	6. Six: Diners and Discoveries

Author's Note: You guys are way too good for me and I love you all. Anyway, this is the last official chapter; there will also be an epilogue to wrap up everything. Also, all general updates concerning my stories I'll post on my homepage from now on so I don't have to repeat myself in these author's notes all the time. I hope you liked this story; it made me laugh out loud trying to come up with dorky things for Bella to say and do. Thanks again everyone!

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Lest we forget...

_The band started playing and the energy of the crowd doubled; they sang around us and I really did try and pay attention, but then Edward's hands started moving. His fingers slipped over the fabric of my shirt, his thumb grazing back and forth, it reminded me of the other day when I pretended to be his girlfriend. Every couple of passes he'd touch the skin of my stomach. "I like this," he tugged lightly at my shirt. We listened to the music for a while this way until I wanted to kiss him so badly I thought I might explode. When I felt him tilt his head down so it was closer to mine I thought about just going for it, but he beat me to it. He kissed my cheek once softly before pressing his lips to the bare spot where my neck met my shoulder and I thought that maybe this was even better than the first kiss._

_Ok, not really, but pretty damn close._

Six: Diners and Discoveries

I felt…ok, so I couldn't think of a word that would properly cover everything, which was weird because I'm usually good with words – in my head at least. Out loud well, if you've been paying attention you know by now that silence is my friend. I would have let Edward's hands go wherever they pleased, rules for public decency be damned, if Alice hadn't interrupted. I didn't notice until she moved her smiling face directly into my line of vision; she beamed. "Having a good time?" The suggestiveness was implied.

My smile felt dazed, "fantastic." The band? Oh yes, they were fantastic too, of course – brilliantly talented and good looking in that I don't give a shit way. The way Jasper played his guitar it was no wonder girls lost their minds around him.

Alice was oblivious to my floating off the ground-ness (it was the best description I could come up with in that state). "Did you like the new song? Jasper wrote it," she looked like she may have been floating a bit herself.

I smiled again, "fantastic."

She noticed my lack of diverse adjective use and darted a glance up to Edward before looking at me again. I wondered what she saw on his face. "Ok, well I'm going to go haggle for a bigger advance from Eric and Tyler," apparently Alice and the record people were all on a first name basis now. She pulled me into a hug, "have fun, he looks about ready to eat you alive."

A girl can hope, right?

When she let go, I realized introductions hadn't been made yet. "Oh! Alice, this is Edward, Edward this is Alice." She stuck her hand out and when he shook it he looked right into her eyes; I could see how girls would be taken with him at first sight, I was one of them. She said goodbye to us and skipped through the crowd to the poor souls she was bartering with.

Edward, still behind me, put his arms back around me and I resumed my breathless, ready to jump him stance. When I felt his mouth near my ear, I tilted my head slightly to give him better access. "I heard what she said when she hugged you."

Ok, so this I can describe – embarrassment, deep, red face inducing embarrassment. I was glad it was dark. _So what if he heard? Play it cool…be nonchalant. Oh crap, who am I kidding? _I made one of those awful awkward laugh/cry for help noises. "Oh?" Alright, 'oh' was good, oh said 'no big deal'. Let him make of that what he would. I waited for him to say something and wished desperately that I could see his face; I thought of the different expressions he might have and most of them were not positive. Or, as tends to be the norm, maybe most of this was just in my head. I felt his hands still tight around my middle, which was a good sign.

His voice felt like that first sip of coffee in the morning. "She wasn't far off." I closed my eyes and didn't even attempt to come up with something remotely intelligible to follow that. Instead, I enjoyed all those intensified – have no words to describe them – feelings coursing through me. I was having one of those I can't believe this is happening moments, but in a good way. In a fantastic way. I pushed back into his chest a little more and he surprised me by pushing me away, but not letting go. He turned me to face him; he looked…concerned? I raised my eyebrows in question. He had to lean close to my face to be heard over the music, "this is going to sound, well, I don't know…are you ok? With this, I mean…you don't think I'm crazy, do you?"

Looking at him look at me, with that worried expression, I just _got_ it.

He was shy.

I thought about how much he must have worked up his nerve to do what he did tonight and it made me like him even more. Before I could think about it too much, I knew I had to answer. I had no idea what to say to encompass how I felt, so I kissed him instead. I decided then that kissing Edward was a good alternative to practically anything. It was soft and lasted just long enough to get the message across that no, I didn't think he was crazy at all. And if he was well, that would make two of us. He smiled when I started to pull away and stole another quick kiss before I turned around to possibly, you know, actually watch the show.

And I was right when I called it fantastic. Jasper sang with the kind of passion that proved this was what he was born to do. I watched and for a short while, it was almost like I didn't know him, like I'd never heard him play, hell, it was like I'd never heard music before and I found myself feeling this grateful ache that I _did_ know him, that I was even here. Edward commented more than once on how impressed he was, but even he didn't have the words. Sometime near the end, Alice came and found us again; she stood next to me, but may as well have been on another planet the way she watched Jasper.

After the show, Alice led us, along with the record company guys, backstage to see Jasper and the rest of the band. We made introductions all around and then the one named Eric announced their contract offer, their sizable contract offer. "Alice is good," Edward whispered in my ear.

"You have _no_ idea."

Once Frick and Frack (as Alice had affectionately named Eric and Tyler) left, she decided it was time to celebrate.

"Food!" One of the boys called out; I looked toward him and saw that he was less a boy and more a big, giant man who would have looked intimidating had he not had a huge smile on his face.

"Orphan Andy's!" Jasper's whole face brightened at the prospect. He reminded me of a little kid when he did that.

It was Jasper's favorite 24 hour diner in all of San Francisco. It was kitschy, with a juke box, red vinyl booths, a neon clock on the wall, and massive portions - it was perfect. The Drifters played as we settled in to a large curved corner booth and watched as Jasper and the big guy rounded up all the menus before we had a chance to see them. The waitress watched with curiosity and I made a mental note to make sure her tip was very large. "We're ready to order," Jasper looked oddly enthusiastic as the waitress pulled out her pad of paper.

"Ok," the big guy interrupted. "Seven chocolate shakes, seven cheeseburgers with everything, two orders of onion rings, fries all around, the brownie thing with the ice cream for everyone for dessert," and for this he leaned forward and looked her right in the eyes, "and a phone number if you're giving one out." He grinned, his dimples in stark contrast to his formidable size; I could tell he probably got his way a lot.

At first, she looked like she might slap him right across the face, but then her expression changed to…teasing? She wrote something on her pad and replied coolly, "I'll see what I can do."

Sometime during our time in the little diner, a camera was pulled out. We took pictures and asked random questions which turned into a game of how sexually explicit can we get without getting asked to leave. I learned the big guy was named Emmett and that he'd been in love with our waitress for three months, but she had yet to give in to his charm. Jasper took a liking to Edward after a debate over who was the most influential guitarist of all time and I took a liking to everything. I had a weird moment after actually smiling for a picture where I thought that maybe this wasn't really my life, like I was dreaming or something. Things like this happened to other people, like Alice or probably Emmett judging by his cocky smile, not me – the perpetual wallflower. And probably not Edward either. That night I kept catching him looking at me the same way I was looking at him and I realized he liked me, as in genuinely and not in an – I only see what I want to see or I just want to sleep with you – kind of way.

Edward walked me home around 2 a.m., his arm slung casually over my shoulders as we talked. It wasn't until I got to the outer door of my building that I remembered I'd forgotten my key. And that I'd forgotten to ask Alice for my spare. Not to mention it was the doorstep moment, you know, the part where you're supposed to be nervous and all 'is he going to kiss me?' and the only thing I could think was 'how the hell am I going to get inside?'

So, naturally, I started laughing.

Edward pulled back to look at me, a mix of confusion and amusement on his face. "Are you…ok?"

I nodded and pulled myself together. "I just…I don't have my keys. I meant to ask Alice, but I completely forgot."

He grinned, "well this is interesting." He looked wholly entertained by my predicament. "You could always just come and stay with me."

At first I thought he was joking, but the look he gave me said otherwise. It was the same look he had at the bar hours earlier, that sexy, braver than his own good kind of look. My eyes widened at the prospect and his look was replaced by something else.

"I mean, I didn't mean that in a proposition way, unless you wanted…but I don't want you to think that's the only reason – because it's not. I'd sleep on the couch; I just don't want you to be stranded." He exhaled loudly and closed his eyes for a second.

It was the shy look that I was beginning to love; I smiled widely with the firm knowledge that I wasn't the only one that was bad at this whole interpersonal communication thing. He smiled back, looking reserved. "I think…I'll take you up on that offer." Honestly, the thought of spending the night in Edward's apartment was thrilling no matter what might happen, or not happen. He took my hand and led me back down the steps; silence was probably his friend too.

Edward's apartment was not at what I imagined. I pictured it as the home of a starving artist, with papers and notes all over the place, mismatched furniture, coffee cup in the sink, but not this. This was clean, like I wondered if his mother came by on weekends to do it or maybe he had a maid kind of clean. He had all slate gray furniture, with the exception of one almost large enough for two people blue armchair in a corner next to a lamp. The kitchen was clean and the wood floors everywhere practically gleamed. It looked like I'd jumped inside a magazine cover. "Wow," I couldn't help but say. I wanted to ask about the mother or maid thing, but thought it might be rude. He smiled and took me on the short tour which ended in his room.

"This is…my bedroom," he paused to look at me. "You can sleep here, I'll take the couch." Without waiting for a response, he grabbed some blankets out of the closet and one of the two pillows off the bed. He dropped them off on the living room couch while I looked around. I noticed there weren't many personal things around, a major contrast to my apartment where nothing matched and I had random things thrown all over the place. "Oh," his voice surprised me and I jumped. "Sorry," he chuckled. "You need pajamas."

"Oh, that's ok." As much as the thought of sleeping in jeans was not pleasing, I didn't want him to go to any more trouble over me.

He went over to his dresser anyway and pulled out a worn, soft looking t-shirt and suddenly pajamas seemed like a pretty good idea. "Is this ok?"

My grin felt lopsided, "yeah." He left so I could get ready for bed. When I was finished I tugged on the shirt a little, like that would actually make it longer, and went out to the living room to say goodnight. He kissed me once shyly from his spot on the couch, as if we hadn't made out in the middle of a crowded room just hours earlier, but I didn't mind. It was…I'm not sure, it made me want to kiss him again, but I was a little afraid of overwhelming him. When had I become the forward one?

Anyway, he apparently regained his composure because some time during the night I heard him say my name. I also felt fingertips on my face which made me shoot straight up in bed. I had one of those flashes where you don't know where you are and I, of course, thought I was dreaming. And Edward was there and I was in this really nice apartment and then…I realized I was awake. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"You were talking in your sleep."

I flushed and was grateful it was still dark.

"I thought you were awake until I came in here, sorry." He backed off a little and I suddenly really didn't want him to leave.

"Stay," I said it like I was speaking to a dog and immediately reddened further; I felt like my ability to do so was infinite. "I mean, if you want to…" I'd thought I was finally moving past the tongue tied part; I appeared to be wrong. So instead of finishing my thought, I held up the blankets so he could get in, which he did. His body was warm, much more so than mine and he wrapped his arms around me tightly like it was something we did all the time. And did I mention the lack of shirt? I didn't know what got us here - Alice? Divine intervention? Ourselves? It felt good, well, more than good, but that was the only word I could find with Edward practically on top of me – not that I minded in the least. I smiled and put a hand in his hair, no more talking or thinking too much about what it would be like if Edward would only see me the way I saw him, because he did. And that was that.


	7. Epilogue

Author's Note at the bottom

Nice reviews are better than chocolate, unless maybe you're licking that chocolate off someone.

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Epilogue: Blindfolds, Vegas, and Lessons Learned

_Three Months Later…_

"Alice, seriously, I'm not going to be able to walk in these." My unavoidable complaint was met with the standard eye roll as we got ready in our hotel room; the boys were all elsewhere doing God knows what. I fastened the tiny strap on my new heels and stood up, testing my balance; if I walked just so…maybe I could avoid falling down in public. I smoothed my dress down and glanced at myself in the mirror, not bad; at least the dress was fairly short so I wouldn't trip over it. I took a few tentative steps while Alice and Rosalie finished getting ready. Rosalie, that was her name, the waitress from Orphan Andy's; Emmett had finally won her over. Not that particular night, but it didn't take many more visits until she was handing over a phone number in lieu of a receipt.

I put my hand over my heart; it was racing. _Breathe, it's just a short walk…down the aisle…in heels…in front of people._

"Are you saying the pledge of allegiance?" Rosalie stared at me with one eyebrow raised.

"What? No," I put my hand back down at my side.

Alice called out to us from the bathroom, "will one of you call the boys? The limo should be here any minute; we have to be outside to meet the driver. Do you think they're drinking? If they're drunk I'll _kill _them! They know the rules, no alcohol until after!...," she went on as I grabbed my phone and dialed Edward.

He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, are you guys ready?" I lowered my voice, "Alice is going into military leader mode. You guys aren't drinking, are you? How's Denny? Have you talked to Angela?"

He chuckled, "no, we remembered the rules. We're in the casino, Jasper's up a hundred dollars, and Denny's fine, Angela said he's showing her all his tricks."

I relayed to him what Alice told me about waiting outside and said a quick goodbye before she could grab the phone.

Once we made it down to the lobby, Alice started laughing before we got all the way through it. The guys stood just outside the glass doors, they all looked identical in their suits with one exception – Emmett was blindfolded. When Alice gave Jasper the black tie earlier that day, I didn't think they'd actually use it. The last I'd heard they couldn't stop making the requisite sex jokes about it. But regardless, Rosalie wasn't one to buck tradition (this particular one, anyway) and the rule was – no seeing the bride before the ceremony.

Emmett got in first (with help), only lightly bumping his head on the doorframe and we all piled in after. "If I promise not to look at Rose, can I take this thing off?" He looked in our general direction, a pouty expression on the visible part of his face.

Alice shook her head, "no way." She sat next to him; it looked like a sort of David and Goliath thing.

"But I've never been to Vegas; I'm missing it!"

"You'll see plenty of it later, keep it on."

"Em," Rosalie cooed, "if you keep it on we can use it later." He melted at her words and sat still for the rest of the drive.

Once we got to the little white chapel (Emmett said if this place was good enough for Paul and Joanne, it was good enough for him), Edward held my hand and helped me to step out of the limo without incident. "Hi, Beau," I smiled at Emmett's new dog, prancing excitedly next to the bass player who was covered in dog hair from the knees down. Emmett couldn't bear to leave him home so Beau was a wedding guest, provided he didn't ride in the limo. We watched as Jasper and another band mate helped Emmett out with no bumps to the head; Rosalie stepped forward to pull off his blindfold. The expression on his face when he finally saw her made my eyes well.

He smiled softly and touched her fingertips. "Hi, want to marry me tonight?" He reached out with one hand and ghosted over the soft fabric of her dress which flowed down her slim figure like water when she moved.

She stepped in a little closer. "You bet your ass I do."

Edward leaned closer to whisper in my ear, "have I mentioned how gorgeous you look in that?"

I fought off the blush and grinned toward the sidewalk.

"I spent the whole way thinking about all the ways I could get you out of it." He kissed my neck once quickly before we all went inside. It was hard to pay attention after that.

So, what else can I say? I'm still shy and sometimes awkward; I still say stupid things when I'm nervous and I think just a little too much and according to Alice, my fashion sense is beyond help. But there are other parts now too; parts that make that other stuff seem silly and inconsequential. I'm in love with a man who wouldn't have me any other way and my friends adore him. I have a life now, outside of work and home and even Alice. And now I have two new friends that are about to elope and I'm a bridesmaid.

I could feel Edward's eyes on me from across the altar; I raised my gaze up to meet his and he did my favorite lopsided smile. Yeah, this real life thing wasn't so bad after all. In fact, it was kind of…fantastic.

end

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Author's Note: This would have been posted way sooner, but I went on a much needed vacation instead; I hope it was worth the wait! In other story news, I'll be inundating you guys with updates over the next week, including a brand new one shot summer story that amuses the hell out of me to write. Also, while writing this story, I got a lot of requests to write chapters in Edward's point of view, but I didn't because I wanted to keep things a little fuzzy around him (I didn't want to give it all away at once :) ). So, if you guys like, I'll post an outtake in his point of view (not a new version of the story, just a chapter). Review or send me a message with which chapter you'd like to see and the one with the most requests I'll write. Thanks so much for reading; you guys always make my day!


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